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Joke of the Day

"Not yet Not yet Not yet Not yet Not yet Not yet Not yet Not yet Not yet Not yet OK! EAT ME NOW Oh! Too late Bananas"

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"Bud light is alot like sex in a canoe... It's fucking close to water"
"People keep comparing the election to Empire Strikes Back or Revenge Of The Sith... Personally I would have gone with The Star Wars Christmas Special"
"Monica Lewinsky will not be voting for Hillary.. The last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth."
"You can tell a lot about a woman from her hands, for instance if they are firmly around your throat she is probably slightly upset."
"3 K's don't a right They make a white"
"The only thing worse than girls going after the ""Bad Boy"" is today's perception of what a Bad Boy is."
"Volkswagen should hire Arnold Schwarzenegger to deal with their emission scandal He's got experience with a Total Recall"
"SCIENTIST: it's both man and machine ME: what's it called? S: I call it a cyborg M: I would have went with manchine S: *crushes test tube*"
"Who's your dad's cousin's cousin's daughter to you? A potential Tinder date."