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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you combine 99 lesbians and a politician? 100 people that don't do dick"

"I'm going to put my limbs into each corner of a fitted sheet and attempt to become a sugar glider."

"""Say something I dare you"" probably isn't the best attitude to have at work."

"What did the necrophiliac have when his grandmother died? Mourning wood"

"Why'd the apple jump in the grinder? He was suicider."

"Perfect example of good & Bad luck Wind blows a girls skirts high (Good luck) At the same time dust falls into the boys eyes (Bad luck)"

"The problem w marriage is communication. When I said I hoped he'd go down in a plane I meant more crash & burn, less on the flight attendant"

"If you aren't happy being single, you'll never be happy in a relationship. Get your own life first, then share it."

"Around 70% of the earth is made up of water, and the other 30% is filled with news articles about George Zimmerman"

"What is the hardest part about puberty? (NSFW) My penis."