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Joke of the Day

"I was in a cab today and the cab driver said... ""I love my job, I'm my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do."" Then I said, ""Turn left."""

"Did you know that nuns have to eat a banana with a knife and fork?"

"Knock-Knock Joke given to me by a Star Wars fan Knock Knock Who's There? Metaphors Metaphors who? Metaphors be with you"

"I don't have Instagram, so I thought you guys should know I had Starbucks this morning. The cup was super cool looking. I also saw a rainbow"

"What's the longest you've ever stared at your phone without glancing up to look at the road while driving? For me it's three weeks."

"Doctor Doctor I keep seeing an insect spinning around. Don't worry it's just a bug that's going around!"

"Why did the archaeologist ask a diamond out to dinner? Because of his enthusiasm for Carbon-Dating."

"My son kneed himself on the trampoline. *black eye forming Me: Son, we need to come up with a better story than this."

"Oh, you were sexually harassed in the workplace? Sounds like a personnel problem."

"Why is a marriage like a hurricane? They both start off sucking and blowing, but you end up losing your house."