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Joke of the Day

"Why did... Why did the golfer wear an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole in one! Ha Ha Ha Ha"

"Well, look on the bright side... At least they won't be talking about that gorilla anymore."

"3 logicians walk into a bar the bartender says ""do you all want beer?"" the first logician says ""I'm not sure"" the second logician says ""I'm not sure"" the third logician says ""Jul 16"""

"Quickest way to get over someone? 4 wheel drive"

"What do you call a reptile wearing a vest? An investigator. Ba dum tss."

"*checks WebMD* Holy crap, I need an ambulance! *checks insurance deductible* Nevermind, I'll just take a vitamin or something."

"What should you do when push comes to shove? Learn to read. The door says ""pull""."

"If I was a doctor, every now and again I'd eat a giant burrito then give myself a sonogram."

"(Slightly racist) What's the difference between Hitler and Michael Phelps? One can finish a race."

"What do you call an angry terrorist? Amin Amood"