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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a British person playing a saxophone? An Anglo Saxin'"

"Parenting is much harder nowadays. For example, you have to be able to push a kid on a swing and tweet at the same time."

"Whats the difference between light and hard? You can sleep with a light on."

"A guy walks out from home... I bet you were waiting for a small line of text. Here ya go."

"Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70? because she gets a frog in her throat at 69."

"Nice cargo shorts. You may want to dial back that awesome a little. Not really sure how much I can take."

"Why does Bob Seger always laugh when he plays chess? He thinks it's funny how the Knight moves."

"You Know The Economy is really Bad when even God starts laying people off #pope"

"How are American beer and having sex in a boat similar ? They are both fucking close to water"

"Genie: I'll grant you 3 wishes Me: I want to fall in love G: OK next M: With a really nice girl *we both start laughing*"