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Joke of the Day

"If i could have any super power, i'd pick the ability to lure kids into my truck without giving them candy i spent my hard earned money on."

"Did you hear about the new gay sitcom? "" Leave it, it's Beaver."""

"What's the difference between a deaf person and an Italian? One talks with his hands and makes goofy noises, and the other one can't hear."

"Did you hear about the cvs looted by BLM supporters? They took everything but the sunscreen and Father's Day cards."

"""Stay strong!"" I said to my wi-fi signal."

"It amazes me at how dirty minded most of you single women are. What amazes me more is how you clean that mind after you get wifed."

"I'm no scientist but you're an idiot."

"""This is not the Droid you're looking for."" - Obi Wan helping Yoda pick out a new phone"

"A philosopher goes to a hotel. Philosopher: Can I get a room please? Receptionist: Sure. Which one? 2B or not 2B?"

"Last weekend I prevented a rape. It didn't take much. You can do it too. I finally convinced her"