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Joke of the Day

"Oh you sneaky little bastard! [Link to the joke.](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/3ei9ie/the_best_joke_i_know/)"

"I'll sleep when I'm dead but also every night so I don't die."

"I almost died today, so naturally my first impulse was to pull my phone out and tweet about it."

"A farmer spent over $12 million to see the effects of marijuana on cows... The steaks had never been higher."

"I would tell you the one about the broken pencil. But there's no point to it."

"I took my child to work almost ten months ago, people. Is there seriously not a Take Your Child Back Home Day?"

"I pronounce CHampagne & CHandelier like CHimp so the lower class thinks I'm ""approachable"" & the upper class thinks I'm ""eclectic"""

"What do a priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? The both came in a little behind."

"The fact that belly buttons aren't blowholes is fucking stupid."

"Apparently my friends came up with this joke about my penis but nobody will tell me it... They keep telling me it's too long"