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Joke of the Day

"My wife's cooking is so bad.... We pray to God after the meal"

"sorry 4 rant, I heard a guy say ""millennials all do fake social media jobs""& was like buddy ur postgrad data entry gig is done by robots now"

"Democrats do much of their shopping at Target and Wal-Mart. So do Republicans but they don't admit it."

"At the restaurant with food still on my plate... Server: ""Do you wanna box for that"" Me: ""No. It's not worth fighting for"""

"I'm excited for the zombie apocalypse so I can trap famous dead celebrities and make the best Broadway show ever assembled."

"Attention Prayer Warriors: My neighbor left town for a funeral today. Please pray for God to protect & guide me as I steal his barbecue pit."

"You know what the last thing I said last year was? One!"

"Whenever someone asks, ""you look familiar, where do I know you from?"" I like to respond with, ""Well do you watch porn...?"""

"I wouldn't do well in war because the bravest thing I've ever done was post an Instagram photo with no filter."

"I don't believe in Bigfoot; because he never believed in me. I'd scan the crowd at my ballet recitals, and always see that one empty seat."