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Joke of the Day

"It's like my pet hippo doesn't even realise it's my pet. DOCTOR: Please be quiet while I stitch up your face."

"Did you here about the kidnapping at school? He woke up."

"I'm going to write a colorless geometry book. It'll be called ""Fifty Shapes of Grey."""

"I bet Hell is sitting in front of every person you know while a slideshow of all of your deleted selfies is played on a loop."

"For twenty years my wife and I were very happy people... ...then we met."

"A Canadian and a Saudi Arabian had a baby... They named it Yasir Youbetcha"

"What do you call a pregnant air hostess Pilot error"

"When people ask how my childhood was, I say ""Pretty good, so far."""

"WHO LET THE CATS OUT? Mew. Mew. Mew. Mew. WHO LET THE CATS OUT? Mew. Mew. MRRROOW! HSSSSS! MRRROOW! HSSSSS! FUCK! HE'S AN INSIDE CAT!"

"Cello Green has T-Rex arms."