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Joke of the Day

"My wife ran away with my best friend... My wife ran away with my best friend. I don't know the guy, but he made me a huge favor so I consider him my best friend."

"I wanted to be a sky diving instructor... But it's not the kind of job you just fall in to."

"Did you know that Erwin Schrodinger's funeral was closed casket? He was buried (|Dead> + |Alive>) / sqrt(2)"

"My wife said sex with me is like enjoying a piece of Fruit Stripes gum... The best 3 seconds of her life."

"Why did the man quit working at the cemetery? It was hard to make a living."

"I'm not sure why AT&T; dropped Tiger Woods. He just took advantage of his ""Nights and Weekends"" and proved ""roaming"" can be expensive."

"Her phone display is brighter than her future."

"I'm biased: I have four buttocks."

"*4YO and I slo-mo run towards each other* 4: I didn't pee the bed daddy! Me: Me neither! *big hug* It was a big night for both of us."

"Why is it called necrophilia and not sexual intercorpse"