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Joke of the Day

"Sexist double Standard: ""If a girl fucks a ton of guys, she gets called a slut..."" But if a guy does that same, he gets called a homo."

"A man and a small child walk into a deep dark forest. ""Dad,"" the child says ""I'm scared."" ""You're scared?"" the man scoffs. ""I've got to walk back this way on my own"""

"Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food but no atmosphere."

"What did the reddit user say to the CEO of reddit Ellen Pao [This Post was Removed]"

"Why are football grounds odd? Because you can sit in the stands but can't stand in the sits!"

"I get nudes from Adele Sorry, *a dell*"

"How do you stop a baby from crawling round in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor."

"The movie 'Up' is utter bullshit. I tied 57,000 balloons to my house & my wife didn't die."

"Yo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest they said ""Sorry no professionals."""

"I've been all over the web looking for a combination fly swatter/back scratcher. I'm tired of lugging both around all day."