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Joke of the Day

"What makes a Mexican saddest about the rise of ebooks? The closing of the Borders."

"I deleted all the German contacts out of my phone... now its Hans free"

"Mythology gags, anyone? What can kill you with a glance and goes ""Hittthhh""? The Basilisp."

"A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool So I gave him a glass of water."

"Why was the zombie in such a rush to get to his book signing? He had deadlines to meet"

"Just farted in 3 different languages! Thanks, Rosetta Stone!"

"Have you seen the last BATMAN vs. WOLVERINE movie ?? It was very prestigious !!! ok, I tried.."

"A farmer plants a field of dildos. What does he get? Squatters."

"What do you call a horse that is on fire? Neighpalm"

"[first day as a soldier] Army guy: we deploy at 04:00hrs Me: where we going? Army guy: to war, soldier Me [setting alarm for 10am]: enjoy"