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Joke of the Day

"If at first you don't succeed... ...then sky diving is not for you."

"Did you hear about the chocolate bar burglar?! The police are trying to catch him, but he's always got a few Twix up his sleeve!"

"What's the nutritional value of an entire tube of cherry Chapstick? Asking for my two year old."

"Two blondes talking to each other... One asks the other, ""Which one do you think is closer, Florida or the Moon?"" The other blonde says, ""Well duh! You can't see Florida from here."""

"What if im actually attractive and hot girls just think im out of their league?"

"Why can't ghosts have babies? They have hollow weenies!"

"SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND *holds up a cat*"

"Psychiatrists say girls tend to marry men like their fathers. That is probably the reason mothers cry at weddings."

"The reason why I only date black girls is because I don't like meeting dads."

"Apparently it's not enough to just show up, you need to be wearing pants as well."