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Joke of the Day
"[during sex] him: Im so sorry. This literally never happens [takes out telescope to watch comet]"
Next Joke
"Have you ever had sex while camping? Its fucking in tents!"
"If it walks like a duck and it looks like a duck, the chances are she's practising for her next selfie"
"If you meet a woman who says your name with the same passion she says pumpkin spice latte you should marry her immediately"
"Words can not even begin to describe your beauty and how much I need to borrow your car."
"What do you call someone who sings about mints? A ""Minstrel""."
"Hey teacher, i made a clock! ""Did you say Allahu Akbar?"""
"Hard to believe the Cubs last won the World Series 108 years ago. Most of them don't look a day over 30."
"When I figured out that people walk on hardwood and carpet, I was floored."
"Wife: Where are you going? Me: I'm wearing my robe and boxer briefs so obviously I'm off to fight crime"