2506

Joke of the Day

"I like my coffee like I like my slaves... ...Free"

"I suspect that my cat has plans to kill me. But has just never been awake long enough to carry them out."

"A lot of people have been asking me what I'll be doing in 5 years' time? C'mon guys, I don't have 2020 vision."

"I once saw a black man walking down the street carrying a tv... ...And i thought to myself ""huh, that one looks a lot like mine."" Then I remembered mine was at home, shining my shoes."

"How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? Just Juan."

"Donald Trump has just announced his candidacy for president Sorry for putting the punchline in the title."

"What do you call a budget circumcision? A rip off."

"It's amazing how patiently people will wait in line behind you when you're buying tampons."

"Waitress: Can I take this out of the way for you? Me: [glances at wife] uh...sure Wife: SHE MEANS THE PLATE, IDIOT"

"Guy: Hey girl, you got the Zika? Girl: I dunno, why? Guy: Cause I want a little head."