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Joke of the Day

"The only way that Mexico will build and pay for the wall... ..is after Trump runs the economy into the ground and Mexico has to keep the illegal job-seeking Americans out."

"What's the difference between a group of pigmies and a lesbian track team? One of them is a bunch of cunning runts"

"How much do pirates pay for piercings? A buccaneer!"

"What's the capital of Greece? Right now about $2.55 AUD."

"Sting was kidnapped last night The Police are looking for a lead."

"My grandmother would roll over. My grandmother would roll over in her trench if she knew how much I spent on her funeral."

"A man tells his wife...... Husband: Hey, you and I should make a sex tape! For the future! Wife: Ehhhhh........ It'd be more like a vine."

"Dammit. My ""Bikini Inspector"" T-shirt's in the wash. How am I supposed to hit the town without irony?"

"What's the difference between a peeping Tom and a pickpocket? One snatches watches and the other..."

"Why are there no Jewish male pedophiles? Because not even the pleasure of hard candy is enough to make them spend a dollar on grooming a child."