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Joke of the Day

"A sandwich walks into a bar The bartender stares at it blankly and says, ""I'm sorry, we don't serve food."""

"What does Putin say during his new years speech? Don't know but its so scary that they drink for ten days straight right after!"

"Hard to believe I once had a phone ATTACHED TO A WALL. When it rang I'd pick it up WITHOUT KNOWING WHO WAS CALLING. Amazing I'm still alive."

"What idiot called it Oktoberfest instead of Octo-Bar?"

"My current girlfriend is very similar to my last one... For instance, neither of them exist."

"Trump: ""If you mess with the United States...."" .....there will be hell Toupeeeeee"

"I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!"

"Sex! Of course you don't get it."

"*Godzilla screeching in pain as he accidentally steps on Legoland*"

"Your Game of Thrones name is your biggest fear spelled backwards plus the profession your guidance counselor suggested. Mine is Snwolc Clown"