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Joke of the Day
"So a blind man walks into a bar... and a table, and a couple of chairs"
Next Joke
"Mission Impossible? He's done four of them now. Let's call it ""Mission Pretty Hard but Ultimately Doable"""
"Germany 7 - 1 Brazil"
"My roommate is painting and makes a mistake... Him: ""gah why can't I Ctrl-z!?"" My inner dad: ""because z is a rouge letter"""
"The key ingredients for a successful diet : Duct tape Rope Rat poison Shovel Bag of lime Alibi What?...wait. Wrong list."
"What is everyone using to scrape ice off their windscreen? This morning I used a discount card from my wallet, but it was no good. I only got 20% off.....!!"
"My friend once had the GALL to call me the 'N' word, which really pissed me off. So I told him, ""Hey, ASSHOLE, think twice before calling me a nihilist, you dumb nigger."""
"Many call me an elastic band The more you pull, the harder I cum"
"What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning? Introduces themself."
"A blind man got a cheese grater for his birthday He said it was the most violent thing he's ever read."