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Joke of the Day
"What do you call an Asian guy who is a member of ISIS? RICE-IS"
Next Joke
"That Hamburger Helper hand guy. There's a twin out there, right? Didn't go into showbiz. Maybe an accountant or something."
"What do you call a politician with premature ejaculation? A one-pump Trump"
"""This is literally the worst beer I've ever tasted."" *finishes six pack*"
"""So you spend 6 bucks on a beverage that has no booze in it on purpose?"" -me to everyone at Starbucks."
"Waiter there is a fly in my soup! I know but unfortunately we are out of turtle."
"What did the Mexican fireman name his children? Jose and Hose B"
"What's the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and one is a pause at the end of a clause."
"My sex life is like 9/11... ...It happened a while ago, and it could happen again any day now, but men and women around the world are doing their best to prevent it from ever happening again."
"It's cool how when people tell us about their dreams that were the weirdest/most beautiful thing they've ever seen we're like ""UGH BORING"""