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Joke of the Day

"What did Mr. Marijuana say to Mrs. Marijuana when she asked if her dress makes her look fat? ""I'll be blunt..."""

"If I ever get married, I'm not wearing white. Nothing to do with the whole virginity thing, and everything to do with being a sloppy eater."

"""So what kind of cancer can you tolerate the most?"" -Me on which President Candidate you're going to vote"

"What do you call a German jerk? Deutschebag"

"""Are you pro gay?"" he asked. ""Amateur at best,"" I replied"

"What do you call a porno with conjoined twins? 2 girls 1 muff"

"Why Can't you see the bacteria in milk? Because it gets past-your-eyes (pasteurized)"

"I won't say I necessarily want to be in a relationship, but I will say its been hard to load a dishwasher with no feedback, whatsoever."

"My 84 mother to my 19: Make-up sure does wonders but you don't want your future husband waking up wondering who you are in the morning."

"What Kind of Pee Comes Out Your Butt? Poo Pee."