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Joke of the Day

"How many liberals does it take to defend America? Nobody knows, they've never tried."

"They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now."

"Why did the boy die? Because he ate honey nectar and then went to the store and tried to buy some mustard and got eaten by a Stegosaurus"

"What do you call a white man surrounded by many black men? A warden"

"What do you say to a dangerously cheesy chicken? Stay out of parms way."

"My science test was like Jesus and the Cross... I fucking nailed it. Ok, I'll go now."

"Did you hear about that group of midgets suing the local bar? Yeah, they were upset with how short the stools were. The judge threw out the case, though; told them they were grasping at straws."

"""I was thinking of all the shit I hate, so I made a list of all the shit I hate"" *notices you don't care *adds you to list of shit I hate"

"I tried to start learning French verbs... ...but it's impossible with all the new pronouns."

"I made my will yesterday and had to make my lawyer the beneficiary because my estate will just about cover his bill"