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Joke of the Day

"Did you know Bruce Lee had a son other than Brandon? He was a famous vegetarian. His name was Brock."

"Judging by all the cracking and popping noises my body makes when I work out, I'd say I'm about 74% Rice Krispies."

"What did Mr. Freeze do with his wife on their first date? Netflix and chill."

"My go-to joke What's blue and fucks grannies? Me in my lucky blue coat! (helps if you say it with a biiiig smile and a little dance)"

"I just plugged in a USB cord on the first try. My wife is in for a treat tonight."

"2 Chefs decide to make a Mexican themed dinner for their Anniversary... Chef 1 turns to Chef 2 and utters, ""you and I will make passionate shit together"""

"In this election year, I'm buying shorter socks. Because I don't support Crews"

"Bill Clinton is not a rapist. He just likes to ""feel your pain""."

"Every time you say you're humble, I want to buy you a dictionary."

"ME: need help? GIRL (having car trouble): could u give me a jump ME (inflating the bounce house I keep in my trunk): I thought u'd never ask"