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Joke of the Day

"In this election year, I'm buying shorter socks. Because I don't support Crews"

"What's every movie critic's favorite cooking ingredient? Michael Bay Leaves."

"Last night a hypnotist convinced me I was a soft, malleable metal with an atomic number of 82. I'm easily lead."

"A second child fell into the Cincinnati Zoo gorilla enclosure. Luckily the kid escaped and the gorillas were unHarambed."

"Why couldn't the pony sing? He was a little horse."

"Why couldn't the chord get into the bar? She was A minor."

"I had a pretty confused childhood because I thought obituaries are actually advertisements selling dead people."

"What's a golfer's favourite games console? A PS FOUR!"

"The teacher asked Jimmy ""Why is your cat at school today, Jimmy?"" Jimmy replied crying ""Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am gonna eat that pussy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"""

"""It's payback time, bitches!"" - What I think every morning now that I wake my kids up."