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Joke of the Day

"A friend of mine is allergic to both peanut butter and bees, which he discovered when he bit into the worst sandwich ever."

"I was suddenly awoken with a blowjob this morning That's the last time I fall asleep with my mouth open on the train"

"What's the difference between an archeologists convention and a basketball team? The archeologists convention is a nerdy bunch of diggers."

"El chiste! Did you hear about the Mexican serial killer? He had Loco motives."

"What do you call a friendly retard? A sweet potato"

"""And what will you do if you're crowned Miss Universe?"" ""I will have a special prosecutor put the first runner up in jail."""

"I'm sorry, you'll have to repeat that. I'm not fluent in nonsense."

"What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops? Guardians of the Galaxy"

"I saw a deer yesterday. I asked it if it had any doe. It said yeah, about two bucks."

"Why can't you see a transgender who's a dad? Because he's a transparent. Apologies if I could've worded it different."