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Joke of the Day

"Shaving your head when you're going bald is the ultimate ""You can't fire me, I quit."""

"If Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus was written today... The solar system would need more planets for the title."

"What's the difference between Hitler and Ronald McDonald? One of them is red and the other one is dead. LOLZ"

"This guy is choking on the last hotdog I wanted so I'm just going to let him die."

"A boy asks his mother a question Boy: ""Mom, why's my cousin named Jasmine?"" Mom: ""That's because your aunt likes flowers."" Boy: ""Mom, what do you like?"" Mom: ""Oh, be quiet Richard"""

"On the last day of camp everyone was asked the same question: 'What is the best part of the camp?' One wise guy answered 'Going home!'"

"How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee *before* it was cool."

"[bald eagles exchanging gifts] *holds out gift* You didn't get me a toupee again, did you? -Uhh... *slowly pulls gift back*"

"TIL that French military units do not fly the French flag. They use a white flag instead."

"How does a Gorilla become another animal? When a Mafia don hires a 'big Gorilla' to be his bodyguard and the big Ape goes to the cops and turns into a stool pigeon!"