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Joke of the Day

"If you look in your bathroom mirror & say ""Donald Trump"" 3 times, the hair in your shower drain rises up & starts yelling racist slurs."

"Heard the one about the three blondes that went ice fishing and didn't catch anything? By the time they cut a hole big enough for the boat to fit in it was time to go home."

"My fine art and fragrances business has failed. The perfumes sold well, but I didn't really know how to market the paintings I'd bought. I've got more Monet than scents"

"Called my Doctor, in a panic, serious difficulty ""passing"" urine. Turns out, it's just that I drive a shitty mini-van."

"Hear about the constipated accountant? He worked it out with a pencil."

"My 5-year-old found two pennies and shared one with her sister. I grounded them both because I'm not raising any communists."

"My friend did some graffiti with me He just tagged along."

"My brother's joke I went to the zoo the other day and there was only one dog in it. It was a shitzu!"

"What do you call a cow that doesn't produce milk? An udder failure"

"When a group of mercenary electric powered robot horsemen attack... ...is it a charge charge charge?"