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Joke of the Day

"I want to open a sandwich shop in the new Islamic State it will be called the infideli"

"What does a mathematician get from a day at the beach? Tan lines."

"I would like to thank the kind stranger I met on the bus this morning for teaching me the meaning of the word 'abundance'. It means a lot."

"I like my sex like I like my math Discrete"

"I got lost in your eyes. But I also get lost in most department stores, so I wouldn't read too much into it."

"Why shouldn't you make fun of Donald Trump? You'll hurt his feeling."

"Oh, you're an early riser? Yes. Have kids? No. A farm? No. Insomnia? No. Medical condition? No. Psycho."

"Two grains of sand in the desert.. The first one turns around and says to his friend: ""Dude, I think we are being followed"". I'll see myself out."

"what's the deal with ""airplane food?"" newsflash, jerry: it's called jet fuel."

"Did you know that 1 in every doll, in every doll, in every doll, in every doll are Russian?"