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Joke of the Day

"Monica Lewinsky just turned 43 It seems like only yesterday she was crawling on the floor of the White House"

"Went to a restaurant. The sign said ""breakfast anytime."" So I ordered French toast during the renaissance"

"What do you call an affectionate island? Isle of view"

"So those numbers on sports jerseys are how many people each player has killed or what."

"Hey babe i wanted to marry you but i had to ask your dad first and he said yes so i guess i'm marrying your dad"

"And the award for worst sentence I've ever read, ""Kid Rock apologized for smoking a cigar at a non-smoking Travis Tritt concert in Detroit."""

"Tesco reported a 6.4bn loss.. I guess that's what you get for betting on horses!"

"What do you call a herd of masturbating cows? Beef stroganoff"

"If a hipster falls in the middle of the woods and nobody is around to hear it, does it make a sound? Yeah, but you've probably never heard it before."

"""Food expiration dates are lies. It's all about control."" My knife breaks as I cut into a plate of milk. ""I'm saving this for later."""