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Joke of the Day

"""we're broke? how is that possible?"" (extremely high pitched voice) no idea ""did you-"" *opens closet & hundreds of helium tanks fall out*"

"The obvious way to smuggle drugs past a drug sniffing dog would be to hide it in another dog's ass."

"I also have a Vampire joke, but I won't tell it to you. Because it sucks."

"We all know how women can fake orgasms, but do you know how a man does? He moans, shakes, and spits on your back."

"What did the runaway melon say to the honeydew on Valentine's Day? I cantaloupe."

"A lot of things can be preserved in alcohol. My dignity is not one of them."

"[meeting a girl at the bar] ME (nervously cracking every knuckle): hi I'm brandon GIRL: please let go of my hands"

"668 The neighbour of the beast."

"Have you ever had sex while camping? I hear it's fucking in tents."

"I seasoned my beef with too much salt I'm salty."