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Joke of the Day
"A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre. He gave it to her."
Next Joke
"Have you heard of the, great, ancient Greek philosopher Mediocrates? His primary philosophical viewpoint is ""eeeeehhh"""
"the doctors gnash their teeth and howl through the night, but they dare not breach the lines of my apple orchard"
"If you're new to Twitter from Facebook, you can just reply ""Like"" to all of my tweets. I'll understand"
"Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt."
"A woman just dropped a 10 note next to me. I thought, 'What would Jesus do?', so I turned it into wine. I bought wine."
"I just sneezed so hard that I'm now two seconds in the future."
"If a man named Terry Richards kills you because you insulted him; what did you die of? Dissing Terry."
"Sometimes I like to use big words... So people will think I am more photosynthesis"
"What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up cunts."