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Joke of the Day

"Why do T Rexes have such bad anger issues? Because their fathers never hugged them."

"What time is it when a clock strikes thirteen? Time to get it fixed."

"Hell yes we can still be friends if you don't drink, I'm not that shallow. You have a driver's license, right??"

"My brother, Max, asked me to come up with a nickname for him. Now we just call him Maxx."

"What's does a black man have in common with a tornado? It only takes one to ruin a good neighbourhood"

"I am against animal testing because there is nothing crueler than forcing a living creature to smell like Axe Body Spray."

"This motel room smells like despair. Or is that my deodorant? The tuna sandwich, maybe. This hooker? My jeans? I bet it's my jeans."

"75% of humans masterbate in the shower, the other 25% hum, do you know what song they hum? Well then I guess I know which percentage you're in."

"Phones are getting smarter and thinner. People, not so much."

"If you have a horse and you didn't name it Edgar Allan Pony, we can't be friends."