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Joke of the Day

"[clenching fists] ""I'll fight someone"" Waiter: For the last time sir, 'cheese plate' describes the items on the plate not the plate itself"

"Why do girls always walk around in odd numbered groups? Because they can't even."

"Not only is my new thesaurus terrible... It's also terrible"

"Charles Dickens walks into a bar... and orders a Martini. The bartender asks,""Olive or twist?"""

"The light at the end of the tunnel are the front lights of a train."

"I started a cold air balloon business. I'm having trouble getting it off the ground."

"Fantastic exercise that really helps you to lose weight: Turn your head to the left. Good. Turn your head to the right. Very good. Repeat this exercise whenever you are offered any food."

"What Did The Pirate Say On His 80th Birthday? Ayyyye Matey!!!"

"*smashes bag of Oreos *pours on top of salad"

"What did the Computer Engineer say? What did the computer Engineer say when he saw his favorite drink? ICT"