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Joke of the Day

"Got a quick joke, that might be offensive to women. NSFW Q: Two tampoons drive right pass you. Which one stop to say ""Hello?"" A: Neither! They're both stuck up cunts."

"I'm an antisocial-psychic. I can see ahead of time that I won't want to talk to you."

"all this spending on black friday... better pay your electricity bill first or next friday will be black friday too"

"I'm the cat whisperer. because I whisper, ""I could kill you with my bare hands"" to them daily."

"The Sales Man A man carrying 6 babies in a train. A lady sitting next 2 him asked,""are these ur babies? ""No I'm a condom salesman & these are Customer Complaints.."

"I can sing a rainbow.. Grey and grey and grey and grey, Grey and grey and grey... I can sing a woodlouse... Kudos to Bill Bailey."

"If God is your co-pilot - swap seats."

"God: I need an Ark built. *Jesus lowers sunglasses* Jesus: I Noah guy."

"I found a bloodsucking vampire in my house today. I don't know how the lawyer got in but I had to chase him out with a broom."

"If you teach a Pokemon substitute.. Does that mean you're a substitute teacher?"