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Joke of the Day

"You can call John Lennon a genius all you want, but the simple fact is he married Yoko Ono. Thats a big strike against the genius part."

"What do you get when you have an ant with 8 legs? An uncle that has to build a bigger shoe closet..."

"yo mamma so ugly she tried to enter an ugly contest and the judges said sorry no professionals"

"Americans kill more Americans than ISIS kills Americans so we should probably play it safe and not let any more Americans into America."

"What's the most annoying part about waking up to find a penis drawing on your face? Figuring out how to make it stop."

"My friends dared me to take Viagra and a laxative at the same time. So I went and sat on the toilet and I couldn't tell if I was cumming or going."

"What happened to all the pokemon GO jokes? I guess people have made the ""switch"" to another fad."

"Aladdin's love for carpet rides must have saved Jasmine thousands of dollars in waxing fees and razors."

"Peter Parker was lucky that radioactive spider bit his hand not his ass or he'd have shot out web every time he farted."

"How can you tell your girlfriend is getting to fat? She can wear your wife's clothes."