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Joke of the Day

"Don't brag about anything you achieved before 1980. There were billions less people. It was way easier."

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"What does Morpheus seek for paper cuts? Neosporin."
"What did the depressed dolphin say? I need a porpoise."
"A concept so foreign, Angelina Jolie tries to adopt it."
"I'm trying to channel my inner Kubrick for my next porno. I'm calling it ""A Cockwork Orange""."
"Biochemistry joke- I once went carbon dating... I was arrested because carbon was only 14"
"Have you ever heard about Mothers Against Drunk Driving's lesser known sister organization ""Fathers Against Drunk Driving""? Probably not, it didn't last very long, it was only a fad."
"What do you call a tight butthole? a noose"
"Son, what was the name of the german guy that hides my stuff? Alzheimer grampa Alzheimer"
"The titanic hits an iceburg and the captain says... ''I NOMINATE ALL PASSENGERS FOR THE ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE''"