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Joke of the Day

"Can anyone explain this joke for me? I just don't get it, so it is either meant to be absurd/nonsensical or I am missing historical context: Q:What do you know about Damascus? A:It kills 99% of germs."

"Donald Trump could very well be our next President. Laugh, because it's a joke, guys. Guys? Guys! ...It's not funny anymore..."

"What is a toilet in Ancient Mexico? Aztec."

"Anal sex... ...it's fucking shit!"

"Why do Jews get circumcised? Because Jewish women won't touch anything that's not at least 10% off."

"No matter how lazy you feel, just remember that Goldilocks decided to take a nap during a b&e."

"What do you call cake that isn't yours? Stollen"

"If Gandalf was a women, what color would her robes be? Red."

"Rob Zombie is a good musician but also a great way to make money when the undead rise from their graves"

"How are mashed potatoes similar to an online college degree? If it ends up on your wall, you're probably retarded."