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Joke of the Day

"Accidentally deleted an invitation to join LinkedIn from a friend. I doubt I'll ever get an opportunity like that again."

"Which dinosaur knew... Q: Which dinosaur knew the most words? A: The thesaurus."

"I am a 60 year old stuck in an 8 year old body . I want to break free . I should've used more lube."

"My wife told me that she needs time and distance... ...because she's calculating velocity."

"If I could have any superpower in the world It would have to be Cold War era Russia."

"Hi, I'd like a salamus sandwich, please. ""You mean salami?"" No, just a single salamus. ""Um ok, anything else on that?"" Yes, one pepperonus."

"My normally calm bull got angry today. It certainly was a red flag."

"I can count on one hand the number of times I've blown four of my fingers off with illegal fireworks."

"What do you call a big Eastern European sausage? Kielbasa (Often Pronounced Ca-Ba-Sa.)"

"How to get a job without experience ? Just run for office!"