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Joke of the Day

"Hey, remember when Dick Cheney told Sen. Leahy to go fuck himself? Yea, just wanted to refresh your mind."

"A physics student asked her professor to describe what happened right before the Big Bang... ....but the professor couldn't, because there was no time."

"One day we will look back at the criminalization of marijuana and laugh because we will be so high."

"""COME ON! WE WERE SUPPOSED TO LEAVE HOURS AGO! WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVEN'T SHOWERED?"" Noah yelled, waiting for the sloths to get on the Ark"

"My friend payed me to write a construction jobs for him. It's still a work in progress, just trying to get it hammered out. You know what, I think I just nailed it."

"What is the rudest part of the body? The privates. They're either dicks or cunts."

"In 2058 the selfies became self aware and choose their own filters."

"If my blood type is A+, can I use that for my GPA? Also how many credit hours does it count as?"

"What does a Jew with an erection get when he walks into a wall? A broken nose, i will sit in the corner now."

"How do you pick up Jewish chicks? With a vacuum cleaner."