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Joke of the Day

"What did the Atlantic Ocean and Pacific Ocean say to each other? Nothing, they just waved."

"I eat those silica gel packets because consumer electronics are not the boss of me."

"Why are astrophysicists always nervous before they launch a new satellite? It can be a very Hubble-ing experience. These jokes may not be funny for you, but they are Fermi."

"Did you guys hear that Ellen Degeneres died? Yeah, they found her face down in Ricki Lake."

"I Walked In On My Dad Chopping Onions Up One Day... It made me cry. Onions was my favorite dog."

"Is it ok if i touch the paintings i have poor eyesight. also i have to have BBQ sauce on my hands because of religion"

"At this point I'm a little offended the lady at #Chipotle still asks what I want. This is my 4th burrito today. Bitch, I know you know me."

"What do you call Star Wars Spoilers? *Wookie*Leaks."

"Ever made love under a mirrored ceiling? I could see myself doing that."

"Always use a fish knife when eating fish, a tomato knife when eating tomato, and a Swiss Army knife when eating a member of the Swiss army."