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Joke of the Day

"I don't think I could ever do a threesome. I can't even satisfy one girl, let alone a girl and a guy."

"Mouldy sausage? What is green and smells like pork? Kermits finger."

"I had a really bad day yesterday the only thing that was positive was my HIV-test."

"What happened to the ghost who went to a party? He had a wail of a time."

"Jennifer Lawrence has said that those who saw her nude photos should cower in shame... ...I don't know about all that, but I did shower after I came."

"Dear Autocorrect, She's an amazing woman not an amazon woman. Thanks. And now I'm never getting laid."

"Russia doesn't have a online TV streaming service. It's called Nyet-Flix."

"[cop car] Buzzfeed Guy: It's okay I work for Buzzfeed Cop: You robbed 10 banks Buzzfeed Guy: You wouldn't believe how much I got from #6!"

"What do you call the area where a horse lives? The NEIGHHHHHHborhood"

"I love rock and roll so put another dime in the juke box baby... then add ninety more cents to play one song."