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Joke of the Day
"All of the good tweets are either married or gay."
Next Joke
"Joseph and Mary are having a romp in the hay. Mary says, ""what if I get pregnant, what will I tell them?"" Joseph replies, ""you will think of something."""
"What makes mexican and black jokes so similar? Once you've heard Juan you've heard Jamal."
"What sucks about being an egg? You get laid once, and it's by your mom."
"Well, I just broke my personal best time by wearing a white shirt 13 minutes before getting a stain on it."
"*Kanye West's dating show* 10 women stand in front of me and I only have 9 roses. BUT WAIT... They're all for me *Kanye wins dating show*"
"ISIS should hire me... I have a lot of experience when it comes to bombing, especially on final exams."
"Confucius say: Man cannot run in front of car forever. He get two tired."
"Whenever my anorexic girlfriend says she needs a pee, I never know if she needs the toilet or she's just hungry."
"President, first day on the job: *pushing a button* Janet can you- [two nuclear missiles launch towards Moscow] That wasn't the intercom."