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Joke of the Day

"Jesus: and when there was but 1 set of footprints, there I carried u Me: (checks fitbit) ok, phew, it counted the steps, I still got credit"

"How many gears does a French battle tank have? Five. Four in reverse, and one in case the enemy is attacking from the rear."

"American Horror Story: Walmart Bathroom"

"You'd think atoms bonds would mean they were being friendly to each other... But, they end up stealing each other's electrons. Isn't that ionic?"

"Dear Edward, maybe the reason you can't read Bella's mind is because there's nothing in her head. Sincerely, Logic."

"What does a bodybuilder do while waiting in a long line? Weights"

"Grocery shopping on a diet is easy in Germany.. Just look for the *gluten tag*."

"Today is my birthday and I turned 25 Jokes on me my insurance didn't go down."

"Why did the semen cross the road? I wore the wrong socks today"

"i was baptized in a car wash"