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Joke of the Day

"My grandma started running 5K / day at age 60 She's 93 now, we have no idea where she is"

"Scientists have discovered a Gene that makes women more receptive to threesomes It's a recessive gene though, so both parents have to not love her for the trait to manifest."

"I'm starting to think that the gym isn't really for me. I went this morning and laid down on the mat to do some sit-ups. I woke up 2 hours later."

"What do The Sixth Sense and Titanic have in common? I see dead people."

"What do you call the hair between grandma's breasts? Her pussy."

"""Oh, did I ever tell you about the time I bounced a check for my girlfriend's abortion? They had to put the baby back in. And that baby... ...was Shia LaBeouf."" -Klaus, American Dad"

"Why can't iron oxide get a date? Porque es FeO Little bilingual chemistry joke for you guys."

"Q: How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: What's a light bulb?"

"How do you get banned from a subreddit without breaking the rules? Post something humorous in /r/lounge. P.S: Is there anyway to ungild myself?"

"You should really eat more turnips. They're really healthy Turnip, for what?"