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Joke of the Day

"A little boy says to his dad 'What is the difference between wealth and poverty?' And the dad says: 'Wealth is caviar, champagne and women. Poverty is hot pocket, beer and your mother!'"

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"I told my doctor I was addicted to Twitter He said ""I don't follow you"""
"My bologna has a first name, and a second name, and a fake name, and a sexy nickname, and exactly none of them are your business so go away."
"Pro tip: when you have a drug test and they tell you to go to the bathroom in the cup, that means PEE. Always."
"if a wheelchair athlete used WD40, would it be considered a performance enhancing substance"
"Went to the doctors yesterday and was told I have to stop masturbating, Apparently it was upsetting the other people in the waiting room"
"Black Betty walked into a butcher shop and asked for beef. The butcher replied, ""No Black Betty, Ham or Lamb?"""
"What's an atheist's favorite Christmas movie? Coincidence on 34th Street"
"France and Italy Go to War. Who Wins? Neither. France Surrenders, and Italy Changes Sides."
"What's the difference between a Russian ambassador and a chicken? The Russian ambassador is Turkey"