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Joke of the Day

"Whenever someone with a bumper sticker cuts me off I automatically dislike the cause they support. Right now I'm not too fond of Literacy"

"What doe you call a banana's grandmother? Banana-nana"

"TIL you can get kicked out of the Navy for getting on the wrong vessel just once. Oops, wrong sub."

"[australia's first national meeting] Do we want to make our own language? That's too hard, let's keep this one but say everything weird"

"I just received a discount offer for a brand new guitar... ... no strings attached!"

"This cashier looked at my 12 bottles of weed spray so weirdly, I suspect she's never broken a lawnmower before."

"""They call me Mr Six Hours,"" I told her, trying to make it sound like a sex thing not the amount of time my head was stuck in a beehive for"

"I came here for... ...funny jokes in the comments."

"How many black people does it take to start a riot? -1"

"Ted Cruz is going to be in a movie Dummy Does Dallas"