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Joke of the Day

"At 23:59 31.12.2015 I raised my left foot off the ground Just to be sure I start 2016 on the right foot"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Alvin ! Alvin who ! Alvin zis competition - just vait and see!"

"Why was Noah a great businessman? He floated his stock while everyone else was in liquidation."

"A blind man walks into a bar. then a chair.. and then a table."

"Girlfriend Pissing You Off? Text her ""He's busy"" and turn your phone off."

"Two nuns were riding their bicycles through the back streets of Rome... One turns to the other and says, ""I've never come this way before."" The other nun says, ""It's the cobblestones."""

"Toilets that automatically flush before I'm done make me feel like every relationship I've ever been in."

"I would never skydive. http://i.imgur.com/uRJyOmB.png"

"[sees a kid at the park doing the pee pee dance] ""NO KID, WAIT- [it starts raining buckets of pee]"

"Great! I just wet my pants. Now people are gonna think I spilled my drink on myself."