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Joke of the Day

"If Alcoholics Had Written The Declaration Of Independence would we have government of the pickled, by the pickled, and for the pickled?"

"The Americans are using a new type of rocket that constantly updates its Facebook status until it reaches its target. It's an attention-seeking missile."

"My iPhone is like my girlfriend Doesn't blow"

"Why do nymphomaniacs like submarines? Because they're long, hard and full of seamen."

"I, for one, support these crazy killers dressing up like clowns. It was a lot harder to see them coming when they were dressing like cops."

"[my original] Why have human fossils never been found in Iran? Because homos in Iran do not exist."

"If the Powerball has taught me anything, it's how to turn $200 into $4."

"You get a fish bite! You get a fish bite! You get a fish bite! You're all getting fish bites! - OPiranha"

"There is no ""I"" in ""team."" But there's an ""I"" in ""Tim,"" and my friend Carlos pronounces it ""team"" so....there"

"Hot singles in my area have heard about me and are moving to other areas"