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Joke of the Day

"How do you confuse an irishman? Lean 3 shovels against the wall and tell him to take his pick."

"What do you call a nosy pepper? Jalapeno business!"

"Today in linear algebra we were ranking matrices I said the first was the best then the second and the third was the worst"

"GOD: Done! Every animal niche perfectly filled WOODPECKERS: We didn't get anything GOD: Oh. Uh...just pound trees with your face"

"What is the name of the charity organization that kills 90% of all of its ""rescues""? Make a Wish Foundation"

"If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? America."

"Why are hemorrhoid and diarrhea so hard to spell? Like if you're talking about them, you aren't having a rough enough time already."

"Funny women are smart. Be careful."

"Sorry I dropped your baby and tried to catch it with my foot."

"What do you get when you cross an atheist with a Jehovah's Witness? Someone knocking at your door for no apparent reason."