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Joke of the Day

"*has argument with husband* *brings up all the dumb shit he said in 2011* *adds ""Historian"" to bio*"

"What did the jack say to the car? ""Can I give you a lift?"""

"I bought shoes from a drug dealer I don't know what they were laced with but I have been tripping all day."

"im not a morning person. in the morning i am a goat"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Brazil ! Brazil who ? Brazil support a girls chest !"

"How does Trent Reznor's mom hang up his Christmas stocking? With a Nine Inch Nail."

"Accounting Joke: Why did the accountant cross the road? Because that's what they did last year."

"INXS was a really good band... It's a shame they hung it up."

"Fun WWI fact: There are more crashed planes down at the bottom of the ocean than- -crashed submarines in the sky."

"Dear Homework. They might be doing you, But They are always thinking about me. Sincerely FACEBOOK"