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Joke of the Day

"My doctor said I have hemorrhoids... but I think he is wrong: everybody says I am a perfect asshole!"

"My extra sensitive toothpaste doesn't like it when I use other toothpastes."

"Hey, i'm proud of my heritage that's why sometimes, I don't even wear my hood at rallies."

"""Coming up on tonight's news, hear about the tragic case of 10 people who lost their lives trying to escape a fire at the nightclub everyone's been dying to get into."" *Disclaimer: No pun in ten dead."

"How do you unite both the Catholics and Protestants in Ireland? By sending in millions of Muslims"

"Chuck Norris house trained his dog by 1 roundhouse kick to the face."

"The guy who fell off the ferris wheel is at the hospital.. He's in fair condition."

"Every Political Ad Ever: I'm a rich guy who's not like the other rich guy he's a total douche. *Paid for by my rich guy friends*"

"(OC) Where did the frog say his family came from? ""They are German and a tad-Polish"""

"What do pirates like to wear during the winter? Scarves"